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Carpe Vagina
‘I’m supposed to be at the coffee shop for that date in like 10 minutes and its ten minutes away…. meh, I’ll put on pants in five minutes’
My phone buzzed as a text message came in:
“So uh my car is smoking”
“lol what”
“yeah it just started smoking…”
She called me after that, telling me that suddenly her car started smoking and that she was pulled over at an intersection of blah and blah, road names that meant nothing to me.
“Can you… come get me?”
‘Hmm, I could go get her, but do I really want to. Those were some nice titties, or so the picture showed… meh fuck it I blocked off an hour for the date as is, this could be interesting’
“Yeah, send me the name of the nearest business and I’ll GPS it”
“There isn’t any! Its the intersection of blah and blah”
I got in my car and started driving, foolishly punching in the street names as I drove, still checking my mirrors ever 5 seconds to make sure there weren’t any police to see my illegal activity. The GPS processed then popped up with a route and an ETA.
‘I’ll be damned she broke down like 5 minutes away’
The intersection she gave me was less then two miles from my house. I drove the dimly lit back roads looking for a car fire. I saw the street signs up ahead and sure enough a thick blond girl with breasts large enough to be seen through her peacoat sitting sadly on her bumper, head in her hands.
I drove past her, debating not stopping one last time, then saying fuck it. I turned around and came up behind her, flipped on my hazards and got out.
Her radiator clearly exploded, there was anti-freeze everywhere. I’m no mechanic, but I knew what was wrong.
“What do you think is wrong with it!”
She leaned in, pressing herself against me
“I’m no mechanic, car’s aren’t my thing, I think thats anti-freeze though”
“What she would do?”
I had a Twix moment, I swear the world stopped and I stepped outside myself to think about it all in a split second.
“Well my place is like 5 minutes from here, lets get off the side of the road”
We started driving, I kept watching her in my rearview mirror, hoping to god the car didn’t explode or catch fire. As we got closer smoke started pouring out of the engine. After we parked I got out, she came up to me, hugged my arm and asked me what to do. I reiterated that I was no mechanic and didn’t know.
‘How can I turn this into a situation where I get to have sex…tow trucks take a while to arrive right?’
“Do you have AAA?”
“Yeah, actually, here let me get the card out”
‘kill mode engage’
“Hey lets go inside and get off the street and out of the cold”
“Okay”
She dialed as she walked. I lead her inside then down into my room, I took off my jacket and plopped down on the couch. She stood off the side, dealing with AAA and her phone.
“Take your coat off and sit down, its probably going to be a while”
She listened intently as the automated message spoke to her. I got up to take a piss. When I came back I flopped down right next to her, but did not embrace her. She leaned into me a bit.
‘yeah, its on’
“Shit! AAA says its gonna cast like 200 dollars to tow my car!”
“That sucks. What now”
“Let me call my dad”
‘Shit, this has the potential to fuck up my plans’
She talked to her dad for a food 15 minutes, I played with my phone and ignored her. Finally the conversation ended and she hung up. She told me that her dad informed her of the problem. I was right, the radiator exploded.
“He said I need radiator fluid and a few jugs of water…”
“I suppose you need a ride”
“yes…”
“There’s a gas station not far. Thats twice I’ve saved you now, you’ve got some repaying to do”
We drove to the Sunoco, I pulled up front and parked. She looked at me for a second, I played with the stereo. She got out and went inside. I fumbled trying to find the song I like. She came back out five minutes later, a jug in each hand.
She propped the hood of her car up and fumbled around inside. I stood off the side, using my cell phone as a flashlight. She ended up calling her dad again and her guided her through the steps of adding coolant to the radiator. She topped it up then looked at me.
“What now?”
“I’m no mechanic, but I’m betting it has to sit for a little while, to settle or something”
‘yeah thats probably true, right?’
“So, wanna watch a movie or something?”
We had sex about thirty minutes later. The whole ordeal, start to finish took about 45 minutes. This is a new record for me. I’ve since put her on the back burner, keeping her strung along nicely. I’ve arranged her to come over this weekend for a booty call.
What I like about where I am right now in my Game is that I’ve only been at it for a few months, I still know very well what its like to be a beta. I know exactly what I would’ve done a year ago in this situation. I would’ve done everything I could think of to get her car fixed and her home safe, hoping that the next time we met she’d like me enough to sleep with me.
Did I completely play on a 19 year-old’s ignorance and naivety? Absolutely. If she came out of the interaction worse for the wear I might feel bad, but the orgasm(s) she had and the smile on her face when she left tells me she enjoyed herself, and I enjoyed myself. The moral of the story, take advantage of what life gives, not just in sex, but in general.
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Be Yourself, Unless You’re Nervous, Than Be Someone Else
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